she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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