I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
