READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
