Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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