Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
