I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
