He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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