I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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