Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize