How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
