And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
