I am in a vortex of obligation.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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