so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
