I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
