This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
