He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
