Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
