is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
