woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
