At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize