you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
