Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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