Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
how drunk are you?
Several
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
