using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
