The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Oh god it's open bar.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
