I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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