meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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