My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
