My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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