there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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