I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
i think my cat just said my name.
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