actually, I'm a sock model
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You're earring is so big in my mouth
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
porn star boner night. come get it.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
