her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
