Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He's on the porch naked. Help.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
