there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
