I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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