But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You smell like stripper and shame
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
