my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
