Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize