Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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