First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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