that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
