I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Can't talk, ducks in the car
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize