Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
