Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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