Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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