i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize