From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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