is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize