do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
