worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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