2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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