Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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