I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
