can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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