it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
