This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
