It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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