So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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