I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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