Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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