i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
