I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
