OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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