my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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