I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I yelled at your uterus for you.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
