wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize