How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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