Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
