Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
