Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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