Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize