so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
